Members of the pastoral team at St Mary’s Cathedral are famous for the heavy workload they bear, yet they continue to work hard teaching and training the people they shepherd. From among our dedicated pastoral team, Lim Shimron spoke with Marianne Liaw, upon hearing that she will be leaving her position in the pastoral team, to find out more about what she does, what keeps her going, and what her future plans are.
Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself?
I am 28, and have been working in full time ministry in St Mary’s for as long as I can remember. In fact, working at St Mary’s is the only job that I have known. I am engaged to Daniel Chow, and am to be married in November, which is good news for him at least!
In trying to get to know you a little better, can you tell us about how you became a Christian?
I was raised in a church-going family. In fact, we used to drive down to Seremban to attend this home church while we were still living in KL. My parents were both church leaders, and so I grew up with the whole works: Sunday school, presentations and such. The problem was that, in the church environment I was growing up in, we were taught lots of moralistic lessons rather than the gospel itself. I grew up knowing that Jesus died, but not the significance of why he died.
It was around the age of fourteen where I had no assurance of salvation because I thought I could not be a ‘good enough’ Christian. I was constantly afraid that if I died that night, I would have no reason to go to heaven. It came to a point where I thought to myself: ‘If I cannot figure out God, I might as well live as though he didn’t exist.’ That was when I started looking into atheism; I read a lot of Darwin, and many things that he said made sense, and seemed to answer the questions I had and pacify me. I was unable, however, to shake off that conviction deep in my heart that God did exist. It was more of me trying to suppress the truth to ease my conscience.
It was at the age of sixteen when things started to go downhill, marking the beginnings of my frequent trips to the hospital. I had a growth in my facial sinus, and the doctors were having a hard time trying to identify the problem. As my condition started deteriorating, I started to question: ‘if this was all there was to life, even with all my achievements, life would be pointless’. That’s where I struck a deal with God, and I told Him that if He got me out of this fix, I would promise to find out more about Him. A few weeks later, the doctors managed to locate the growth, and I begun finding out more about Jesus and my search led me all the way to St Mary’s, where I heard the gospel explained for the first time, that Christ died in my place for my sins, that I had been forgiven by grace.
What made you rethink your stance as a self-proclaimed atheist
Atheism was more of a cover-up for the things that I could not explain about Christianity. I don’t believe that at any point in time I was truly convinced that God did not exist at all. Looking at the world around you with all its complexities, it would be impossible to say that there is no Creator and that everything came about by chance.
I think what triggered it was that deal I made with God, but what really kicked it off was reading the Bible and understanding the Gospel – Jesus dying in my place for my sins that justice may be served, so that if I trust in Him, my sins are forgiven. That simple yet profound truth changed the way I thought about Christianity, and really convinced me.
How has this gospel changed and moulded your life?
Coming to understand the Gospel made me understand that the world does not revolve around oneself, but actually revolves around God, and that changes how you live. It has changed decisions that I had made, like what I have chosen to do with the rest of my life, what I chose to work for. Now what drives me is the hope to see people come to understand the Gospel in the way God has so graciously allowed me to.
What led you to switch from studying law to becoming a full-time member of the pastoral staff?
Halfway through my apprenticeship, I was already convinced that there would be nothing more worthwhile than serving in full-time ministry, and spoke with Andrew at length about this issue. Of course what held me back was parental expectation – my parents expected me to finish my law degree then consider full-time, which is to say they didn’t want me to consider it at all. I was patient, and did plan to honour my parents by finishing my studies, but God had better plans.
Halfway towards the end of my second year in university, I was struck by a rare and hard to diagnose breathing disorder and was in the High Dependency Unit for a long time. It came to a point where the doctor actually told my dad that if they didn’t find out what was wrong with me, the medication that they were giving me would kill me. At that point in time my dad asked me what I saw myself doing if I survived, when I told him that I would leave university and work in church. ‘Deal,’ he told me, ‘if you get out of this, do whatever you want.’
A few days after this, the doctors diagnosed the illness, and I was finally put on the proper treatment. I came out, left Law, and never looked back.
Having started working here at St Mary’s, can you tell us about the ministries that you’re involved with?
Within the Cathedral itself, I am involved in both liturgical services and SMACC, doing one to one Bible studies and follow ups with women, as well as counselling, and home visitations on the liturgical side. I also work with Daniel in the youth fellowship ministry, and am involved in Kids’ Church. There also quite a few outreach ministries that I am involved with as well: I lead the Girl’s Brigade at St Mary’s Girl’s School, run weekly Bible studies with refugee schools and homes for the mentally ill. I also work with the tertiary ministry (an outreach ministry for university students) as well.
Outside the Cathedral, I am serving the Diocese as a council member in the Diocesan Youth Council. I have also just been asked to join the Anglican Mission School Board which oversees education in Anglican mission schools.
What sort of challenges are you expecting in your career change?
Part of my career change has also been a move to help me be godlier with the way I use my time, in the way I pace myself. I definitely do not recommend that any gospel worker work seven days a week. I say this especially in light of my upcoming marriage to Daniel, with the hope that I will not only be a faithful gospel worker, but also a good wife (I’m still getting used to that ‘wife’ word) by allocating enough time for family and for serving God.
The scope of ministry in Scripture Union is wide, and there are just so many things that need to be done. I am apprehensive of the pace of work, but I trust that God will lead me every step of the way. I think the head start in terms of having many established links with schools, through the many ministries that Andrew has kindly enabled, has equipped me for ministries such as this.
How can we be praying for you as you ready yourself to step into a new era of your life?
Pray that I will keep the Gospel central in everything that I do and to still be faithful as I continue to work out there. Pray also that I will find a good balance, as there will still be ministries that I will be involved in at St Mary’s together with the new responsibilities that I will be taking on in my new job. I don’t want to end up doing four to five jobs.
Speaking of work that you will still be continuing in at St Mary’s, could you tell us what ministries you will still be involved with here?Definitely I am still going to be involved with follow-up meetings, training, and one-to-one Bible studies, Youth ministry and Kids’ church, though my focus would probably be with Daniel in the liturgical services. I will also be starting teachers’ training with Agape Mission School, one of the refugee schools that St Mary’s directly oversees. I will also still be involved in Girl’s Brigade for the time being, as part and parcel of my job with Scripture Union.
We at St Mary’s would like to thank you, Marianne, for your long and unwavering dedication to the work of the Gospel, and for your great love for people. Your imitation of Christ has encouraged and spurred many of us on through difficult times in our lives to share your hope in Jesus. May God use you to bring the Gospel to many more people during your stint with Scripture Union.